...thank you...

Many people don’t realise that there are more important things in a relationship than love. Love is how you start it, love is one of the first bricks you lay. And if you don’t build it up with acknowledgment, constructive criticism and-or growth, the relationship breaks, in ways you don’t expect it to. It’s not always about love and respect and trust and support. When Marie starts one of the biggest fights she and Malcolm have ever had, it is about acknowledgment, it is about a simple, heartfelt “thank you” that she didn’t get from him on his biggest night. Even when she tells him that she is neither looking for an apology or credit for being his inspiration, he stops the fire with love and not with acknowledgment. Once you start taking your partner for granted you stop acknowledging the work they put into the relationship.

When Marie says that entire Thank You speech, that Malcolm should have said, she gets some sort of catharsis I felt; sometimes if you don’t hear the things you want to hear from the person you need to hear it from, you can say it out loud for yourself- no harm in it. Malcolm tries to make Marie see that he loves her with all her darkness and all her faults and scars and troubles and “shame” and “guilt”. But he doesn’t see that he is not acknowledging her, not thanking her. When Malcolm tells her she is jealous that she couldn’t be Imani, I know that is not the thing even before Marie says it. It hurts when Malcolm brings up all the muses he had for his heroine Imani to get back at Marie. It hurts when Marie says that he took away from her the opportunity to tell her story and find the relief that she deserves. It hurts when she asks him why he didn’t fight for her; there have been several occasions in my life where I had wished for someone to ask me twice or maybe even thrice if I am okay or if I needed or wanted something, or if they would offer me something even after I say no the first or second time.

Malcolm loves Marie. He doesn’t realise how much he has taken her for granted or how consumed he was in his love to see more things are necessary than love. Like Marie says, he lacks femininity which is his shortcoming as a partner and as a filmmaker. He doesn't put in the effort that she does to be the best girlfriend he has ever had. When you stop trying to be the best version of yourself for your partner, the relationship crumbles. Malcolm doesn't even realise that he doesn't put in any effort or acknowledges her effort until she articulates it. And when he finally says ‘thank you, it is like a heavy blanket falling off and bringing in the cool air of the night.

I started watching the movie because it is so beautiful. The colours (black and white are colours) and how they communicate through songs when words are inadequate, and GOD the close-up shots. Zendaya has never looked more beautiful. John David Washington blew my mind during his ‘review rant’ and when he stood speechless when Marie says what should have been in his Thank You speech. The movie was reviewed as a “talkathon” by someone. Maybe it is, with its long speeches and dialogues and monologues- but that is exactly how lovers fight- how partners fight.

Malcolm & Marie…