College Tour of Girlfriend Past

 The best tours come from the worst planning, or in my case the most tiring planning.

Our tours usually happen during winter, so that we don’t have to suffer both the summer heat and the monsoon rains. Winter is perfect for tours, it is cold throughout the day, except for a few hours of searing heat and white sunlight during the day (white sunshine is the worst). So, like every other student group, we planned a tour to Coorg, Chikmaglur, Bangalore- later changed to Mysore, and Wonder La. We had a fixed budget, fluctuating price, list of people whose parents allowed them to join the tour without hassle, and the list of people whose parents needed convincing and a list, a sad, short, list, of people whose parents didn’t budge, no matter what, from their stance of not letting their child go on a once in a lifetime college tour, and tanker full of troubles, disagreements and uncertainties.

We would have loved a trip all by ourselves, just the Honours 16-19 batch, but since there was another 16-19 batch of undergrad students in the same department, we had no choice but to plan the tour together. It was a very pleasant thought, considering the friendly interactions we had with them during MERAKI WITS 2.0. But surprisingly I made friends with the same people, most of the same people, who were part of my hit list. Well, adversity does bring the worst of enemies together, I guess.

The first thing to do was to make a list of the places we wanted to go to, and then realise that it will cost a fortune and our parents would suggest the cost-effective Museum if we pushed them too far. So we contacted a tour manager- travels, and learnt the same thing that we already knew- Kudremukh and Dandeli river rafting and all won’t be possible for 5k, most we can do is dip our feet in a random river while at Coorg. We got Bangalore changed to Mysore and chose the less expensive Kochi Wonder La over the supposedly awesome Bangalore Wonder La. We badgered the dude until he gave a price that could be presented at home without the entire family freaking out. The fees kept fluctuating since the total cost plus profit was divided among all the students going on the tour, and as people kept cancelling and re-joining, the entire thing became too hard to track, short-circuiting my brain successfully.

In the middle of all this, we, I, had to go tell our seniors that we can’t include them in the tour since we didn’t have enough seats on the bus for them as well. Taking them with us meant some of us would be sleeping on the floor of the bus, which was unfair and impractical on a trip that was 65% spent on a bus. And we couldn’t take another bus since there weren’t enough people for two buses. So I was given the happy task of telling a bunch of girls they can’t tour with us. It went well, I should have worn a sweater for the encounter. But this was nothing compared to finding a teacher to accompany us on the tour.

Every teacher in the department was approached by me and Shabna, and also by most of our classmates. I called a usually awol teacher multiple times, and she suggested we call another teacher. It was a moment of epiphany, since I had no idea I could call up multiple people for this, I am still grateful for her guidance. Finally, one teacher agreed to accompany us if it was ok to take her son with us. Everything was arranged. But some political issue broke out in the place we were going to, apparently, and the teacher’s husband said she can’t come and suggested we go somewhere else- that is, change the entire tour plan. Which was another brilliant suggestion. I am still surprised and proud of myself for not having snapped at any of the teachers during that time. Finally, one teacher agreed to come with us, our HOD was already in; when one teacher agreed another also said she is coming- we can’t obviously say ‘lol no, you can’t come', to a teacher.

After all that shit-show, the bus’s engine came to life and we went off to Coorg, our first destination. It was as awesome as it could be. The next day, at Chikmaglur, was the real deal though. We realised a jeep and a seasoned driver could defy the laws of physics, if given the chance. This was also the day we noticed we hadn’t shat in more than 36 hours. Thus, after a point, we were more concerned about the bowel movements of each other than the tour; I am not saying we didn’t enjoy the tour, we did, but we were constantly thinking about shitting as well.

Mysore was nice, I wanna go there again with Aggu so that we can take a stroll through Mysore palace instead of speed-walking. We should have gone to the beautiful palace first instead of the damned zoo; never listen to a man. We went to a hilltop market and Kinna found a nice restroom and promptly informed me. I forgot to pass on the information to others and only when we got back to the bus did I remember my folly. The girls have still not forgiven me.

Most of us started shitting once we touched Kerala soil. Vasu shat in the restroom of the hotel where we stopped for dinner and a change of clothes. DD shat when we got to Kochi. Me, being the sinner, could only shit after getting home.

Wonder La was wonderful. We got into many cool rides, I got into one and threw up and stayed away from other rides afterwards. We splashed around in chlo(u)rine filled pools and I showed off my swimming skills.

There was the mandatory Lulu Mall visit after spending the day in Wonder La, we did random shopping with whatever money we had. There was a McD open, with a working ice cream machine, and we bought fries and ice-creams. Kochi to Trivandrum was understandably damp, with everyone reminiscing and acting as though this was their last day together. I think we sang “Kaatadi thanalum” and “Manasinnu Marayilla” just to hit the last nail on the coffin.

I got home, tired and desperately in the need of a proper bed- sleeping in a bus is the worst. I put my bags down and went straight to take a good dump.